HOPE FOR THE BROKEN HEARTED

There seem to be quite a few broken hearts as of late, and I ask myself, “What are the qualifications needed to heal a broken heart?” Cardiologists receive special training and skill in finding, treating and preventing ailments of the heart but what about broken hearts?

What is a Broken Heart?

Wikipedia describes a broken heart (also known as heartbreak or heartache) as a metaphor for intense emotional (and sometimes physical) pain one feels when experiencing a loss. It cites the concept of a broken heart is cross-cultural and dates back at least 3,000 years. The emotional pain can be so severe the heart can actually be damaged physically. Have you experienced heartbreak that severe?

The Remedy?

I’d guess that many of us have experienced this type of heartbreak and I wish I had a quick remedy for the women who speak with me and share their emotional pain, but I don’t. I don’t even try because I know that only God can heal a broken heart.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

How do you heal a broken heart? Give your cares to God. Spend time in prayer and give Him the heartache, pain, and sadness. His word will give you the hope to hold on and the strength to persevere. How do I know this? Because this is what His word states and I’m a believer.

The Lies We Believe

Young women share their heartbreak. Their voice is strained and may sometimes quiver. Their eyes are sad, and the weight of the hurt crushes their spirit. Beautiful, smart, talented young women who are shattered due to a broken relationship.

In some cases, it is a break-up. The loss of a true love and the reasons vary. Unfortunately, there are situations I’ve witnessed where somewhere along the way the young women accepted less. These bright, young women believed the lie that they did not deserve better. Whether the choice is due to loneliness, insecurity or a lack of belief in themselves, they chose a relationship that for many reasons was unhealthy for them and before they knew what was happening, they were deep in love with the wrong person for the wrong reason.

I love the quote by Becca Martin, “Love when you’re ready not when you’re lonely.”

Our Thoughts, Our Beliefs

There are many things I could do or say to young women to assure them that they are amazing, loveable, and have great value, but I’m not sure they would listen because it’s not up to me. It’s that small quiet voice in their mind speaking to them, and that voice is the voice that will direct their steps. I spoke in-depth about our thoughts in Where Are Your Thoughts Taking You?

The thoughts that fill our minds with lies become our belief system. Click To Tweet

These thoughts run through our mind like a ticker tape reminding us of the lies. And when we believe the lies, our life choices begin to reflect our thoughts including our values, our beliefs, our relationships, and our careers.

Our Beliefs, Our Behavior

In Search for Significance, the author shares, “Our behavior is often a reflection of our beliefs about who we are.” Let these words sink in for a moment. Our behavior is a reflection of what we believe about ourselves. So, if I can do anything for you today, I encourage you to believe you are beautifully and wonderfully created. Believe God’s word and allow His word to run through your thoughts.

God’s Promises

I’d like to share a few scripture verses with you, and I encourage you to learn these verses and reflect on these verses. If our behavior is a reflection of what we believe to be true about ourselves, then let’s believe in God’s word and His promises. God is within you-you will not fail.

“You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.” Song of Songs 4:7 (NIV)

“God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.” Psalm 46:5 (NIV)

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14 (NIV)

The Future is Yours

Through the years, many amazing women have reminded me that God will close doors to protect us. Today, I share these words with you. I do not know your specific circumstances. I do not know why you are experiencing heartbreak. But, what I do know is that God will never leave you or forsake you so hold on to His promises and trust in Him. Allow Him to heal your broken heart. The future is yours.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

This post is dedicated to the courageous and bold young women who I have the pleasure and honor of knowing. You are an inspiration!

Image Credit by Parinaz Wadia Design

Keyblaze says

03.12.19 at 9:59 pm

Relationships don’t always work. Sometimes, a breakup is more or less amicable but most often than not, it hurts so much that you feel your heart will burst.

Dr. Sanjeev Trivedi talks about the ways to deal with heartbreak. Here are her ways to deal with it.

1. You are not the first person in the world to experience heartache. Millions have suffered and have come out of it. Pain is something that adds to your understanding, knowledge of people and your own maturity. Though it is not a pleasant feeling, it is quite normal.

2. Do things that help prevent memories of time spent together. Delete chats, emails, and photographs from handset, laptop and computer. If you cannot gather courage to do this, as least move them to a folder marked ‘hidden’ and saved in a remote corner not easily accessible. Do away with gifts and mementos so that you are not reminded of the person.

3. Stop all communication with the person and also those who may want to inquire or talk about her or him. People can suspend all communication when they want to, but in vulnerable moments there is a sudden urge to reconnect and therefore blocking communication channels helps.

4. Once you are in better control of yourself pat yourself on your back. But there will be times when you may need help. The urge, the confusion and the hope may make you take a wrong step and therefore in order to block this possibility, you can talk to a friend or a counselor about your feelings.`

5. When you cannot help remaining sane and normal there is no harm in becoming sad. You may cry loudly if you feel like. Crying makes one feel better, because with stress and anger getting washed out you are also relieved of the toxins. You feel light, relaxed and refreshed.

6. Please understand that the ability to guide, manage and control someone else does not lie in your hands. Put yourself in his or her place and imagine if you would like to be doing things that others want from you or you would like to be a person with free will and independence. Why should he or she behave the way you want? If you once loved someone, respect her or his decision.

7. Move away from ‘blame game’. Do not find faults with the individual, other people or circumstances. Instead, start accepting the current situation. Once you are closer to reality it would be easier for you to distance yourself from the pain.

8. Try to make new friends. Invest time in people who make you happier. The social support system in a collective society like ours is always readily available.

9. Plan a trip or a vacation with family or friends. Create new and happy memories which will be your new treasure to fall back upon, when you feel lonely and sad. Click new pictures. Get a pet if you feel it might help.

10. Try to help a person who is undergoing similar trauma. Be a guide or a counselor to him or her. With what you have learnt in life, you can surely share some valuable tips with the person who is suffering. Realize the change in you. See what is good in you and around you.

Comments

Keyblaze says
03.12.19 at 9:59 pm

Relationships don’t always work. Sometimes, a breakup is more or less amicable but most often than not, it hurts so much that you feel your heart will burst.

Dr. Sanjeev Trivedi talks about the ways to deal with heartbreak. Here are her ways to deal with it.

1. You are not the first person in the world to experience heartache. Millions have suffered and have come out of it. Pain is something that adds to your understanding, knowledge of people and your own maturity. Though it is not a pleasant feeling, it is quite normal.

2. Do things that help prevent memories of time spent together. Delete chats, emails, and photographs from handset, laptop and computer. If you cannot gather courage to do this, as least move them to a folder marked ‘hidden’ and saved in a remote corner not easily accessible. Do away with gifts and mementos so that you are not reminded of the person.

3. Stop all communication with the person and also those who may want to inquire or talk about her or him. People can suspend all communication when they want to, but in vulnerable moments there is a sudden urge to reconnect and therefore blocking communication channels helps.

4. Once you are in better control of yourself pat yourself on your back. But there will be times when you may need help. The urge, the confusion and the hope may make you take a wrong step and therefore in order to block this possibility, you can talk to a friend or a counselor about your feelings.`

5. When you cannot help remaining sane and normal there is no harm in becoming sad. You may cry loudly if you feel like. Crying makes one feel better, because with stress and anger getting washed out you are also relieved of the toxins. You feel light, relaxed and refreshed.

6. Please understand that the ability to guide, manage and control someone else does not lie in your hands. Put yourself in his or her place and imagine if you would like to be doing things that others want from you or you would like to be a person with free will and independence. Why should he or she behave the way you want? If you once loved someone, respect her or his decision.

7. Move away from ‘blame game’. Do not find faults with the individual, other people or circumstances. Instead, start accepting the current situation. Once you are closer to reality it would be easier for you to distance yourself from the pain.

8. Try to make new friends. Invest time in people who make you happier. The social support system in a collective society like ours is always readily available.

9. Plan a trip or a vacation with family or friends. Create new and happy memories which will be your new treasure to fall back upon, when you feel lonely and sad. Click new pictures. Get a pet if you feel it might help.

10. Try to help a person who is undergoing similar trauma. Be a guide or a counselor to him or her. With what you have learnt in life, you can surely share some valuable tips with the person who is suffering. Realize the change in you. See what is good in you and around you.

- Robin Revis Pyke says
  03.18.19 at 2:46 pm
  
  Thank you for stopping by and for sharing these wonderful thoughts on relationships!
  
  Best,
  Robin

HOPE FOR THE BROKEN HEARTED